is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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