so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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