Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He better not be in your backpack
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
