how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
