Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
