so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Randomize
