So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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