if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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