Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
