Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize