he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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