My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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