All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
