You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
