Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
