i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
