i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
