She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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