what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
