Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize