Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
