guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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