can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
