yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She bit a glass in half.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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