lets start a swedish sibling band together
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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