So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
