I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
