Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
