I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
