Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
