I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
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incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
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no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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