My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
