when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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