I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
