just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
