That's when you crack a 10am beer
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
