so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
