Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
