Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
