Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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