i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
