What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
