well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Edward fifth and chaser hands
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
