I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits