Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just found out I have a small penis.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?

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(303): View more from Colorado

he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.

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(810): View more from Michigan

She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.

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(661): View more from California

Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".

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(970): View more from Colorado

just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus

(651): View more from Minnesota

Drunk ass.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.

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