every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK