My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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