I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
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Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.