ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
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I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10