i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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