I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize