OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Actions speak louder than pants.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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