i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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