I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
