Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
