I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
