So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
