As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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