Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
