Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
