I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
