I wanna passion pit in your ass
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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