OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
