So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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