"it" just moved
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
