I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
