I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
