You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
